I have a similar problem, my boyfriend, my 2 cats & I have been living together over 5yrs. The longer you stay the harder it gets!! Husband/boyfriend has an extravagant amount of responsibility for the canine. If you call it barking. Dogs are animals they should not be sleeping In human beds. Although many people love dogs, not everyone does. I.e., Move to a new house. Walk her 1-2 miles once in the morning and once at night. We have recently purchase a new home that has a 3 car garage. All I get from your lengthy comment is that no, you dont need a dog and neither a SO in your life. Im just worried I dont know how to breach this gap, explain how I look at dogs in a different way. I love my Partner, I hate her dog. Other people have told him about how annoying and out of control his dog is, but my husband is in denial. Dogs do not have the capacity to act maliciously based on personal dislike. I just want to be free from this and not have to deal anymore. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or Pet ownership is supposed to be fun but this dog is causing unnecessary stress for both of you. You need to either leave the boyfriend, or give the dog to a family or owner who will care for the dog and not mistreat it. They lick him all over the face and its just nasty!! This whole allergy thing started out when his parents looked after our cat during a month-long overseas trip we took when a friend of mine could no longer live up to her commitment in the last minute. My girlfriend has a Yorkie, which I came into the relationship with her having. I have a dog as well, and like you, I hate having fur everywhere. Were simply not in the business of alienating friends and family over a dog. You dont have to hate animals to hate your significant others pet. If you cant fix that, then yes, you should break up. Possibly one month would be enough. I just dont feel comfortable living in a situation like that and having children in that kind of unhealthy and potentially dangerous situation. Let me be clear he picked out the dog, it was his idea, and he was very emotional about it. Im sorry for all that youve gone through and are going through now. I dont think a dog should snarl or growl at anyone, much less one of his masters. I kennel my dog to punish hIm but my boyfriend is so hateful towards him and its making me resent him. In February, we bought our dream house. My brother-in-law once said, "My wife's priorities are: 1. Hes a neat freak and Ive got a miniature husky mix who sheds a lot. So we tried a spray to make the couch taste bad so she wouldnt do it again. I have seen forums about SO or children having allergies and severe asthma attacks because of pets, and all these animal lovers comments are to get the SO or child allergy pills and shots but no matter what do NOT get rid of the pet and do not turn the pet to an outdoor pet. My soon to be husband (in 5 months) has two adorable dogs. Its seemed like she was in love with him! My boyfriend and I have started living together. Hes taking his threats a bit rough, like taking the whole fingers in the mouth but I think hes gonna learn to take it gentle with some training. Be Polite but Vigilant. Im going nuts and no amount of grooming or nonsense home remedy will stop the shedding. I dont want to over think this again. Anyhow if you have to rehome the dog, dont just look for a shelter. We are expecting our first child in a matter of days to weeks and I dont want to have to be running around worrying about what his dog is getting into now. Yah, discussed and agreed. Tell that guy to pack his clothes and his dog and cat and GET THE HECK OUT!!!!!! As far as dogs go, this one is a sweetie. There are so many dog nuts out there its scary!!! Although, my pets never ranked higher in the family than my mother, father, sister, brother, or spouse. I have even volunteered as a charity dog walker to try and alleviate the sadness I feel, but its simply not the same. I also have serious allergies. Current relationshipboyfriend moves in, we get engaged, a year later I finally break down and find him a dog It broke his heart that the place I had by myself would only allow my cat so when we moved he got his dog. If the dog cant be cured, and is posing a danger to you and others, then it is right to take a stand. and my husband had never discouraged this. I cant take it anymore. When he comes home he immediately starts playing & stroking the dogs showing his love. Bathe the dog on regular basis. After just a couple minutes though you realize how demanding this guy can be. He will not read about it or acknowledge it. Ive been trying to be a team player, but Im worried Im not cut out for this. We had discussed very thoroughly prior to living together that the house will need to be cleaned often and upkept to minimize as much as possible the hair. i cant seem to find any (or very little) help for the person who does not own the pet. I am an animal lover of all kinds. But everything is secret im not allowed to know anything whats going on, she secretly talks to our kids behind closed doors and i have no authority over them or my money goes into the bank weekly with no clue where it goes i must say she earns more than me i think, and i get sleep back to back with her and a dog!. He has to have some way to release his energy. My boyfriend and I each have a dog, were pretty serious about each other but we live separately in the same apartment complex. I never knew that I would ever feel about animals because like i said, I have always loved animals and had animals growing up and took great care of them. I informed him several times that the dog smells. Not him. I tell my mother to stay married to this man means I will never have another pet, which I greatly dislike that thought, but I know my spouse will turn it into a human rather than respecting the species for what God has created. I have read comments about peoples marriages crumbling because of an animal. Which I usually dont. He knew from the very beginning that I had several animals. I love bigger dogsand a lab is a great family dog. Why isnt she by the window sniffing the air like other dogs? Thats a normal reaction. For instance she thought one had eaten rat poison around my chuck coup miles away from anywhere they would wander, but the vet charged several hundred dollars each just incase they had in injections fees, its not funny, im in big trouble. My partner has changed, shes negative, bitter, angry. Like one full week for leave it. A found an add for a yorkiepoo for 250 bucks. My boyfriend can't handle that this dog is bouncy, happy to see him and that he wants to cuddle with him. I was sleeping with a girlfriend (as in literally sleeping) and the dog was in bed. I dont understand that thought process either of getting upset that the dog is having to do dog things and then they try to make you feel guilty because you want the animals to be treated like a pet and be properly trained instead of being treated like your first born child? Im not allowed to touch her without she makes some kind of complaint about pain or period issues, no sex since i had a versectomy as she wanted to come off the pill. Best of luck !!! Being vexed with the husband/boyfriend isnt a solution. I think his obsession with his dog is a little unhealthy, and I wish I had known this before I fell for him. I have been online searching and begging him to find a resolve, but he hasnt tried. I love my dog and it hurts me when I see him getting treated this way while I try to treat both of them fair. Sowe bought a house together & moved in. That is how you hate a significant others dog. If having an indoor cat or a dog that sleeps in your bed is important to you, youll need to ensure your partner shares these values or risk ending up in conflict. Theres no way I would want a dog in the bedroom at all let alone in the same bed, and theres no way I would expect any partner of mine to accept it if I had one. Originally the dog was obtained at the recommendation of a therapist for the dependent brother to increase his physical activity (going for walks) and to give him something to focus on other than himself. Why? Before then we lived in separate homes I had my beautiful and tidy high rise apartment and had no clue whatsoever what could possibly lie ahead. It is sad to say that much of the stress and anxiety in my life is due to his dog. I am going to have to give up my future with the one I love because a stupid disobedient, manipulative dog. So we decided to take action and ask our landlord to have her live with us, the landlord said yes. My guess is not at all!! If he doesnt get food when were eating he will bark at him till he gets it. His parents are just as bad, they call the dog their grandkid and call several times a day to check on the dog. I really dont like all the shedding and constant licking but I compromised (foot of the bed at least, dog bed on floor at best) and I also wear earplugs. at night the dog climbs on her side of the bed and she even moves up to give her space !!!!! She has since then adjusted her sleeping habits and we have both been the happier. How did an animal lover end up with an animal hater? The dog is his world and Im just a person who lives with him. They have passed away 2 yrs ago my mom and not quite 1 yr ago my dad. Honestly, Logan had great points about talking and compromising with your SO in order to have a relationship that benefits everyone (including your dog). For some reason it finally got through to him and said he was sorry for everything that has happened and told me that at the end of the day I am more important than a dog and that he never wanted me to feel alone. My dog IS a one-person-dog. Instead we come out realizing that there are dog-obsessed freaks out there. I have also asked him to politely not allow the dog on the couch for the same reason no one wants to be sitting on dog fur when they come over to visit or to smell like a hound. And thats the rub. I live in Germany, so sorry if my gramma isnt so good. Hes drinking and now back to as he says dabbling in drugs. Idk what to do or say anymore.. I was also in a new relationship and did not want to throw the towel in yet, and he told me he was open to having me help train the dog. She sits between your legs staring at you while you eat. But I cant say/see it that way. As for the dog thing and spreading bacteria, the only dog (or cat) disease that Ive ever heard of thats communicable to humans is Rabies. Though they are visible to others while on or about the lips, the sufferer usually will also have sores further inside the mouth. Eventually I get the, OK, lets talk about something else now, or, this is upsetting me; I really dont wanna talk about this. So once that happens there isnt much I can say or do. Just like having one boy and one girl as children, I want one cat and then Ill be happy. My girlfriend has a dog who Ive been polite with and tend to when Im the only one around. We came to a compromise and agreed to put a dog door in our patio, and that way the dogs have their water and good in there and can still go outside. And jetaime, it only gets worse. One of them has a urination problem. And this is how I feel about my boyfriends pets. I totally completely agree. Then you clearly dont understand the mindset of different people. And having a dog sleep in a bed is one of the worst offenses of lazy pet owners IMO, it is just asking for trouble! Its self humiliation and you ARE worth more than that! She literally reduces the home value, all so she can run around and beg for food. Its gotten to the point of threats: harming them or killing them, and driving me to suicide, as I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I realized the my needs werent being met, my requests were being ignored and as awesome as my exs dog was, the fact that he showered her with affection while I only received 1/4 of that same care just wasnt okay. I never in my wildest dreams would have ever thought this would be the cause for unhappiness in my life. They cant see pass their own noses. Ie. It use to chew anything it could get its mouth on, pee/poop in anywhere except outside, sleep in her bed (it would also pee/poop there), etcpretty much anything that, I believe, any reasonable person would be infuriated by. These are both 70lb monsters mind you! They prefer their relationship with their dogs because they can control that better than a human one. I just dont know what to do.. Dan, after 4 years of marriage with my relationship I was subjected to being valued less than my husbands dog, it basically came down to Hes not that I to you type of thing. No, you will not put my dog outside. The other part is I dont get how if Im not requesting anything outlandish why he cant see that its a valid request. She had one nasty bulldog at first which drooled all the time and also snored and farted. I have to somehow not find all their annoying habits annoying. One of them is very dominant and a bully to the other one, most of the time, which can be very frustrating. What do I do? 5. Our four year old daughter has been bitten four times leaving bleeding wounds each time. I dunno how because she was never bathed her entire life or brushed before we began living together. I dislike this dogs disposition but I can deal with that. If youre already in an established relationship, its time to begin communicating clearly and openly. Why he can see that its gone this far. Love your pets, but everyone has a rank in the pecking order. Because that shows me how much more the cat means to him than I do. If you say something they call you a jerk. Im very attached to him. No, I really did not have a clue! You need to train them. He obeys me and when she tries he now ignores her. Mainly because I decided to focus on my relationship instead of a small dog problems even if it could be seen as a big one I finally decided not to let it but just let the dog into my heart more each and everyday. Their dog scratches all her skin off all over the floor there are piles of flakes of skin all over the carpet and the dog gets the whole couch to stink up and chews on herself and she also has no manners she pees on the carpet when shes mad at her owners or on the floor when my boyfriends parents leave and leave my boyfriend to clean it upand she is also treated like royalty Me and my boyfriend rescued our third cat from someone who said they felt like abusing him and I remember I held the kitten in my arms and bonded with the cat so it was basically like I was its human mom ya know.. but the plan was wed keep it until we found another home for it.. and his parents didnt want to give him up so we were stuck with a third cat that they claim is my cat but yet they named him even when I already came up with a name which I thought was rude and meant that they were taking claim over the cat down the road the cat started messing on the bathroom floor everyday and meowing at our door at 5am really loud i cant stand it.. his parents wanted to keep him and no one has trained him on top of that they let their diaper cat beat up this new cat and rip his hair out which makes me feel super bad but all these misbehaving pets have ruined animals for me and i cant stand living with them im also pregnant and my boyfriend thinks im a control freak because i dont want to be around them or let them sleep in the bed. I agree its not an issue about being rude to an animal its about treating your dog like a dog. I work too many long hours and its not fair to the pets. I had a different situation up until this past weekend. We have had some potty training issues with him. Many times hes said if I reprimand the dog he will choke the life out of me. Im the one who cleans, and Im sick of cleaning cat hair of of EVERYTHING in the house. It sounds like your husband has not taken the needed time to properly train his dog. One of each. Hi Janet, Chat with the vet: Its a good idea to chat with your veterinarian to figure out if there are any psychological or. Second, take your dog to a training class and invite your boyfriend to come along. intimate relationship | 12K views, 171 likes, 20 loves, 67 comments, 11 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from LINDA: a couple sleeping together They are well behaved most of the time but like anything they love attension and cuddles and he just cannot bare them. That would make it an activity for both of you together and she may see and have a better understanding of what constitutes poor dog behaviors people enroll in the training to create boundaries. Which I totally dislike because I fear for my baby. My partners huskies shed like mad, and if he didnt brush them every day there would be a carpet of dog hair everywhere. I am married 4 years and must admit that i have never had pets. My dogs are well-behaved and calm. All I know is that its really frustrating. Thats what Im saying. Ive always had animals growing up, all indoor BC we couldnt bear to see harm come to any of them. I think the marriage should be prioirity number 1 and that both parties should agree on this. If the dog is a grown one, the house training needs to be done again! He also has this really sweet tempered dog that he adores. And in the end he was the one that left me and I was finally free from that promise. Any tips for either training my cat to stay indoors or to tell us she wants outside without being so vocal? A spouse is not inherently loyal to you because humans are not monogamous meaning that something or someone could easily lead them astray. He clearly doesnt want to compromise which is what relationships are all about and being his parents are dog nuts, hes lived that personality trait his whole life and has been taught by them to be that way. My husband has forced me to hate dogs. Ive put tarp down in the room as he previously went poop on the floor there. You are most definitely not overreacting. Im sure these traits will remain once your dog is gone which in all actuality doesnt solve anything and may not even salvage your relationship, unless unlike me you have A LOT of patience!!!! Its akin to watching out of control kids with their parents oblivious to their behavior but very transparent to an observer. If I discipline the dog I am scowled at!! At the beginning, I was cool with the idea of the dog, he is placid, relaxed but at times, can be annoying (begs at you all the time), will jump on the bed and lounge when Im not there ect. Think about when you have kids? He just doesnt get it, he cant understand the appeal and only focuses on the stuff he hatesthe smell of cat food or a litter tray that has just been used, even though both items were in the utility room and our house is clean. Besides my allergies, Ive always thought dogs were kinda stupid and boring and burdensome . Fortunately for her she sees the warning flags going up big time and He wasnt over the moon about my dog but he grew to tolerate and even help out if I would be home late from work or out for the day. I just cant grasp the thought process.. To add to the complications, we are unable to have children, I have come to terms with this after 8 years of disappointment, he has not found it so easy. Oh, and I am laughing at the person being angry about your dogs I do feel for you being unable to have children. So, its worth reading. Reading the post below has been a relief to know that my feelings toward my girlfriends Boston Terrier is genuine and not abnormal. Hey look at my pretend partner YOU inferior human never mind how it makes YOU feel Im too busy pretending/making up inappropriate and misguided feelings for my mutt. LOL I felt exactly the same way, and loved my boyfriends dog before we actually moved in together. Although she might not have a perfect behavior I love her and accept her. Wow, sorry to hear that ANOTHER person put their dog above their human companion. Ive never seen so many dogs with behavior issues, anxiety and destructiveness and almost all of them started out with a single person! Sure, I will go through some ups and downs of separation and divorce, as the marriage didnt make it, but in the end, I am sure without such negativity I will be much happier on a day-to-day basis. I just cant do it, didnt move all the way over there to come home to a dirty and stressful environment every day and not be able to do anything fun with my new husband. When getting a pet it should be with the intention of it having a forever home. Sadly, our girlfriends do not know or are aware of how they are being played. I tell him she was with me before we met, he hates her because my ex got her for me. The hair is floating everywhere and sticking to everything. Because when he finally gets in bed with me..I get good night I love you and not even cuddle me for 2 minutes and roll over and sleep. Hes had this dog for six years prior to me, so shes been with him for a long time. If you are, seek help immediately and DO NOT take your anger out on innocent animals. I work too long to have to deal with anymore issues or responsibilities. So..I would consider getting the First Alert Bark, the only problem would be my boyfriend. He wont eat and acts weird. That causes quite a disturbance as my BF focuses carries on and gets all stressed out. Ive visited other dog related websites and you wouldnt believe how some people react when you arent a complete and total dog nut. He needs to meet me in the middle just as I have met his demands every time concerning the dog until now. Well I feel the same as a lot of comments here reflect. Dont get me wrong, I DO enjoy animals and their company and I have had a small dog for many years before all this! She hops on the couch to grab my sons favorite stuffed or toys. A part of me feels like I know that this dog means so much more to him. Whenever I bring up the issue he gets super defensive and says we just need a house with a bigger backyard and another dog for him to play him which I am completely against that makes as much sense as having a kid to fix a marriage. Im not a dog and wont be treated like that. He trained him to use a dog litter box & always kept him in a cage ( big outdoor sized cage that he kept in extra bedroom of his house) bc the dog was never actually house trainedpees everywhere, marks territory all over the place, poops on any rug he sees, charges after people, will bite if anyone touches his ears, will actually lay in his littler box full of pee & poop.the definition of nasty & disgusting! However I HATE HATE HATE fur! The last thing you want is a reluctant dog owner to witness a fight. But, thats just my opinion, please use your mind to choose your answer not your heart. Us being dog lovers and always having more than one dog around, this was not okay, but we managed the situation as best as we could. Hire a dog trainer or behaviorist: These people are mastered about dog behaviors, and they can handle pretty much any breed of canine. Im I right or wrong ?! At least Pancho is housebroken for the most part, but I have heard of many that arentlike your BFs. Have faith that what you feel is correct. But sometimes he doesnt even hug or cuddle with me so Im get upset that they dogs get more loving than I do. It just makes me sick. My dog died at 3 years old. He had to have the dog in the bed, and the world revolved around this little beast. So, lets see what you can do about this. In fact, thats how we ended up getting together. That way you can still have somewhat of a relationship with him. The pecking order akin to watching out of me feels like I know that my feelings my! 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