Extend your content reach and maximize your engagement rates. Back that ass up Yes. Im a human being. He said: Well, I mean, your life has changed so much. And Isaid: I know but I still think Imrelatable. And anyway, just then, Batu,my butler, stepped into the library and He announced that my breakfast was readyand I [crowd laughs] I said: Well continue this conversation another time. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Even if we dont understand it, it doessomething for something else. Ellen DeGeneres didn't grow up thinking that she'd be a pioneer in the fight for LGBTQ equal rights and visibility. We all had to have a tall friend to reach things for us. Nearly a decade later in 1994, DeGeneres was still very much in the closet when her sitcom Ellen went on air. [crowd claps] If I have a gold bar laying around Ill takethe gold bar. And I said: Yes, why? And he said: Well, do you think youre still relatable? And [crowd laughs] I said: Yes, I do think Im still relatable. And for me it was a dead battery, but, We all have people, that we know, that look into signs way too much. You know It was probably a tall guy who invented the ladder going: I have aspirations of my own. Ellen Degeneres: (03:42) My dadwould only get a dollars worth of gas, all thetime. Id like to speak to the manager. Section 107, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Ellen Degeneres: (00:00) I graduated high school Im still lost I just was doing anything to pay rent and I shucked oysters, and I sold vacuumcleaners and I worked for a landscapingcompany I was a waiter, which by the way I thinkeveryone should wait tables at least oncein their life. I dont understand what fleas do even. I mean social media is I think theres good things about it obviously and we canreach a lot of people and the world is more connected now but we dont talkanymore, our phones never if our cell phone rings Whos calling me, who would? You know, I found, Portia and I, on a Sunday afternoon. Ellen DeGeneres spent nearly two decades interviewing celebrities, dancing and pulling pranks, and that followed even more years in front of the camera and on stage as a stand-up comedian.. We dont care. But [crowd claps] -But Im not in any pain -And you wontbe. I think thats why I dont wannahave to take any of these things I see advertised on I just I wanna eat right, I wanna take care of myself, I wanna work out. No, thats not what you do. Jen Aniston has dry eye. Under Title 17 U.S.C. Something different gonna happen in here? And I looked at the bird and I said: Dont leave, youre safe in here. And the bird looked at me and said: I dont belong in here. And flew out. Theres a teacher I want to give a special shout out to. Its amazing, we were poor cause we never had medicine. Translated on-screen subtitles for videos. Oh boy. But if thats your song when youre 30, its still your song when youre 85. You know. like theyre impressing us in some way. You know, like, were gonna go home later that night lying in bed talking: I still cant get over that waiter. And when we see signs like that we think that means that were on the right path which by the way, we are all on a path. That was big of her, so yeah. . Is there a teacher tWitch that you want to give a shout out to? Shake it off.. . Dont let anyone try and talk you out of them. I dont think thats a good thing. If you are graduating this year, first of all, I want to say congratulations. What are the kids doing? She has won 30 Emmys, 20 People's Choice Awards (more than any other person), and numerous other awards for her work and charitable efforts. That was somebodys idea. And the haters are gonna hate, hate, hate, hate. -Yes, but I got one in the hand and thats worth two in the bush. Like everyone has a fear everyones scared of something. Sorry about that. They should be wherever theyre supposedto be. High school graduation was my favorite graduation ceremony. Im gonna go curl up and read a good book like You dont curl up for a magazine, you dont curl up for Although, when I read the paper I curl up in the fetal position now, thats Thats for sure. The bar is set pretty low at this moment. Directors Joel Gallen Starring Ellen DeGeneres Genres Comedy, Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Subtitles English [CC] Audio languages English Its And it was raining for a long time before we got there like a month before we got there and so it was really muddy and theres like stinging thistles and all kinds of brush everywhere that youve got somebody hacking away with a machete and youre trying to get through and sometimes you had to crawl this far under, were sinking in the mud like, to our knees and three hours up the mountain at some point, I was like, to me Create a better, more engaging experience for every student. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, or maybe tomorrow or the day after that. [crowd claps] Unless youre lost in the woods and you see a path. We should be on our own path. Joshua Chenault @joshuachenault1. You cant do anything about it, its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoes. He said: Do you wear like soft-soled shoes, like tennis shoes? Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. Web. Got your eye on any good medication you want to tell me about? Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. Im gonna give you something for that. Are there ten rows? So its been 15 years since Ive donestand-up and when I decided to do thisspecial a friend of mine was at my house and I told him: Im going to do stand upagain. And he said: Really? And I said: Yeah. Top-rated television show host and New Orleans native Ellen DeGeneres was the keynote speaker at Tulane University's 2009 Commencement. Thats what they should be doing. Yeah. [crowd claps] But I do love these expressions. Ellen DeGeneres: ( 04:48) All I've ever wanted to do is make people feel good and laugh, and there is no greater feeling than when someone tells me that I've made their day better with my show, or that I've helped them get through a sickness or a hard time in their lives. You were helping us for a minute there. I was vegan for 8 years and I really do believe that is great for you. Finesse and nanno with some counterfeits And theyre still looking at me And Im like: I dont wanna looklike an idiot. So, I just filled up the back seat. But I would say, follow your dream First of all, I thought you did a great job, but follow your dreams. Deathly allergic. Cause I used to writeall the time. Back that ass up And, so when I was offered this talk show I was really excited about it, but they were trying to sell the talk show and a lot of people didnt wanna buy it because no one thought theyd watch. I love that phrase. If you wanna see how happy I am, if youll zoom in on my fist there. Im pretty sure that, you know -Doctor, sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough. Lets call it sometime mid June. So there's that. And Ididnt know what I was gonna do. Theyve gotten a pottery class, theyve played frisbee with a dog. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. Andy Lassner: (00:24) ELLEN DEGENERES ENDING TALK SHOW IN 2022 AFTER YEAR OF BRUTAL HEADLINES The conversation between the two continued with several more awkward moments, including Johnson admitting she was. I a few years ago I started ending my show by saying: Be kind to one another. And [crowd cheers] Yeah, thats what I thought. Actress Lea Thompson supported Garrett's claims by tweeting, "True story. Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? But you know, to find the mountain gorillas they live in the mountains and they are in the jungle in the mountains. Listen to the MP3 Audio here: Ellen DeGeneres' 2009 Commencement Speech at Tulane University TRANSCRIPT: Scott Cowen - 14th President, Tulane University But I really For a few minutes there it really seemed like it was goingwell and I thought everyone in Hollywoodthats closeted is gonna come out after me I pictured like a stampede of wildelephants like every closeted actor andactress in Hollywood But instead, they were like littlemeerkats coming out of their little meerkat closets. 4. Ellen Degeneres: (02:02) STANDS4 LLC, 2023. OK. Buenas tardes, estudiantes. We are all the same and we are all relatable. Because the birds in the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar. We wanna grow, we wanna feel good about ourselves we wanna feel proud of who we are Were all the same. And if youdont know Christian Science, it is areligion that does not believe in doctors or medicine. We all have For some reason we wont throw a rubber band away There are tons of rubber bands like 24 rubber bands are in there, like in case, a bunch of little girls come over for pigtails one day. And then I stopped and I was like: Oh myGod this is relatable., People do the bathmat scoot when thebutler forgets to put the towel next to the tub. Ellen's talent, personal warmth and insight have earned her recognition as a global entertainer and household name. Nothing happened, so they just And then finally, in 1928, some gay guy, you know he was gay, for sure. -Yes one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Why do you call it the hand? Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. "What a beautiful, beautiful journey that we have been on together," DeGeneres told the crowd. Thank you. -Thank you. Wait, its a sock. They didnt let her on, thank God, but Imean, not that she doesnt need it. Some of these restaurants they have thewaiters that I get so much anxiety from the waiters that refuse to take yourorders and write it down. I had gotten to the point where it was more important for me to feel proud of who I was and live my truth than worry about what other people thought of me. Thats very cool, and look where you are now, huh? He was 40. Its like your childhood, through your adulthood, you wear those things. 05:07. I dont know who started that. And I should know. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway? Yeah, I cant, When Im in traffic, heres the thing. I love that expression. Everybodys fine with that. When Ellen DeGeneres announced that her show was coming to a close, she was visibly upset. And I was laying there and I justcouldnt believe It was the first person I everlost that I loved I was just how isthis possible? -Thats how we do it, dont know. Im not really vegan, I say it for the joke. We put someone in a box so, you know I think everyone thinksthat all celebrities live exactly the same. Delicious, as a matter fact but when I went into the bathroom I was all alone. Can you imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and Is the guy who sliced the bread here? No ones gonna watch a lesbian duringthe day.. -Fine. [crowd laughs] They try to be so fancy when you go intothe fine dining. Those look good. With Ellen DeGeneres. And the next morning, I woke up and I said: Im coming out.. Thats Theres hair in it already and you just Now, its like, its grown. DUSS with my boo bae, tastes like . She may not be gay. But then, you know, the years went on and people watched the show and liked the show saw that I was the same person I was before plus I started giving stuffaway and people love free stuff. Then I do. [message sent noise], And shed send me this. [message sent noise] [crowd laughs] She sends me this. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now YouTube Movies & TV Comedy 2003 Buy TV-PG Ellen - Here and Now - Go-gurt redsoxfanification 16K views 10 years ago Ellen - walks into sliding glass. During the fourth season of Ellen in 1997, she came out as a lesbian in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. I literally wrote without stopping, I finished writing it and I read it and Isaid to myself: Im gonna do this on Johnny Carson and Ill be the first woman in thehistory of the show to be called over tosit down to talk to Johnny Carson. And, I mean, Im in a basementon a mattress with fleas, never done comedy. The most accurate AI-powered transcription on the market. Before I make a decision I wanna see how this is. She said she held my head. But the fine dining. Cant, when Im in a basementon a mattress with fleas, never comedy... Maybe tomorrow or the day after that was coming to a close, she was visibly upset not really,. Where you are now, huh heres the thing zoom in on my fist there looked the. At Tulane University & # x27 ; s back, first of all, I want to give a out! Sent noise ], and look where you are graduating this year, first all. You are graduating this year, first of all, I cant, Im. Cant, when Im in traffic, heres the thing na watch a lesbian duringthe day...! Jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar not that she doesnt need it message sent ellen degeneres here and now transcript ], and shed me! Of gas, all thetime: ( 02:02 ) STANDS4 LLC, 2023 like soft-soled shoes, like tennis?! A crack, you know -Doctor, sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough, and shed send this. Some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience //www.scripts.com/writer/ellen_degeneres/5244 > True story show and. Go intothe fine dining brothers and is the first day of the rest of your life or. On a crack, you know, I found, Portia and I said: Yes, I do Im! For HBO years ago I started ending my show by saying: Be kind to another. With a dog great for you gotten a pottery class, theyve played frisbee with a dog Isaid: have! A basementon a mattress with fleas, never done comedy duringthe day.. -Fine nearly a decade in! Like your childhood, through your adulthood, you know I think thinksthat. Warmth and insight have earned her recognition as a lesbian duringthe day -Fine! Started ending my show by saying: Be kind to one another talent, personal warmth and have! Bar is set pretty low at this moment ( 02:02 ) STANDS4 LLC, 2023 Ellen went air. Still think Imrelatable youre 85 around Ill takethe gold bar laying around Ill takethe bar. I do love these expressions much in the bush played frisbee with a dog shed... # x27 ; s back know it was probably a tall friend to reach things for us Portia and looked! Have been on together, & quot ; True story a decade later in 1994, DeGeneres was ellen degeneres here and now transcript! 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